Lets Get Stuck In

Both of you want to enjoy each other again but should you really expect full penetrative sex as soon as the horn hits. Have you considered sex without penetration, this is the perfect time to get him to do Some of those things that may have been missing for both of you in either the, we’ve been together so long we know how to do it blindfold, except it’s never been that experimental or we are making a baby, I’m ovulating go go go.

When you do decide that it is time to go all the way then there are products out there to make it easier. Lubricant helps because it allows him to slide in and avoid any areas that are still healing to be protected a little. There are some more sensual products too. Don’t forget that if you are using condoms then oil-based lubricants will weaken the latex and reduce their effectiveness (unless they say otherwise) and you are more fertile so unless you want to take the risk, stick to purpose made lubricants. Liquid Silk is excellent and Durex make a good range too. Their Heat doesn’t seem to do much of anything heat wise but if you are sensitive this may not be the best one to start with. There is the old favourite KY but it lacks the sex appeal of others. The cheapest lubricant that is in ready supply is saliva. Saliva can be acidic and so if you are still a bit raw than you might want to avoid this until you are sure it won’t irritate, similarly if you aren’t concerned by the issue of oil based lubricants then don’t forget that perfumed lubricants like some massage oils may also irritate. There may well be cuts that you don’t know about further inside you and these may be irritated when you first try. Many women are much dryer after too so if you are feeling very dry then it might be worth discussing oestrogen cream with your GP. This is sometimes use by women who have been on HRT as it can help when there is a prolonged hormone issue. If it makes you more comfortable then it is worth a visit.


Will it hurt? Probably. No matter which way you gave birth you have probably not had sex for a while and you may well be tense, these combined with the physical trauma you have experienced will mean that you are tender and more delicate. Many women find that they are dryer than before, once again lubricants are not just fun but in these circumstances necessary for you to be able to relax and enjoy the experience. If it is painful you are allowed to say stop, slow down, get out and let’s try it another way. Don’t carry on because you feel any obligation. It will happen again and a lot more frequently if you don’t rush and force the issue. Your partner may be frustrated and you will be too but he won’t thank you for carrying on if you are in a lot of pain. Do something else for one another until you feel like trying again. We are all different but if you are ready and you take your time then it probably won’t hurt as much as you dread. Perhaps the best way to think of this is like the very first time. You may be tender and if you are anxious then parts of you will probably feel tense. There is always the option of getting a bit tipsy and letting it help you relax. You probably won’t need much if you have been abstaining for nine plus months. But if you’re breast-feeding this can be tricky timing wise, you know how often your baby needs feeding.

And because you are a woman not only are you fretting over yourself you are also just as concerned if not more concerned by the question - How will it feel for you and him? Has the big squeeze made your alley slack? Crude, but a real worry. Well sorry to say but yes, you are going to be different, no point lying as you wouldn’t believe us if we did. Will he notice, you can answer that yourself as some men really wouldn’t while others certainly do but that doesn’t matter because you are the only women he wants to be with and he will have been expecting it. This isn’t an excuse to let it stay that way and we are back to pelvic floor aren’t we. Time will be a healer but why not help it along. If this is a concern you just can’t bring yourself to consider then stick to non penetrative sex for a bit longer and perhaps make sure the lights are out for a bit.

And after all that he shot his loads quicker than John Wayne and you weren’t even close. Well you can hardly blame him because he has been going without for a while now and even if he is pleasuring himself it just isn’t the same and the whole experience with you will have got him worked up. If you happen to have a virile young thing that will be ready again in five minutes, you may need to wait a while to try again. Even then you probably won’t orgasm. Mother nature doesn’t seem to have her of feminism. This is often due to the fact that our orgasms are linked to our emotions and are not simply a physical response and as we are told from that naughty first joke that on average women take a lot longer to warm up and you may not be able to find time.